Where Do I Find Guidance When The Path Ahead Is Uncertain?
Being a man is truly a balancing act. On the one hand, you're expected to be strong, decisive, confident leaders. On the other, you're encouraged to be open, vulnerable, and receptive. But where do you find guidance when the path ahead is uncertain? And how do you transition from following others’ lead to becoming your own guide?
On episode #38 of the Hearts Wide Open Podcast, we had the pleasure of hosting Chris @andresgarzong, a passionate salsa teacher and dancer from Colombia. He shared a powerful insight: "The one who loves is the most powerful."
Now, before you dismiss this as some new-age cliché, let's break down the deeper concept of love. We're not talking about the dramatic, reductionistic over-the-top love you see in Disney movies. We're talking about a deeper, more authentic kind of love—an actual feeling of connection, peace, and joy.
When we operate from a place of love, a psycho-biological shift happens in the nervous system: we're more open to new ideas, more empathetic towards others, and more confident in our own abilities. It's a state of being that allows us to lead with grace, receive with gratitude, and connect with others on a deeper level.
In the following sections, we'll explore three practical ways to cultivate this kind of love and find guidance on your own journey.
1. Lead with Your Heart, Not Your Ego
Back to Salsa again. On the dance floor, leading isn’t about controlling every step; it’s about setting a clear direction -coming from a place of heartfelt intention- and inviting your partner to move with you. Similarly, receiving isn’t passive; it’s about trusting and responding in the moment. This connection is only possible when you’re able to let your guard down and let the music move you.
In life, the best leaders know when to guide and when to let others contribute –the rhythm of a great leader. To practice this, start by identifying one area in your life where you can invite more collaboration. For example at work, ask a colleague for input on a project instead of solving everything yourself. At home, be open to suggestions and perspectives from your partner. Leading and receiving are two sides of the same coin—both require listening and trusting.
2. Step Away from the Noise
Guidance often emerges when you step back from the hustle and bustle of daily life. It's like having a brilliant idea hit you in the shower. Whether through meditation, journaling, or taking a walk, try figuring out your ways to amplify your inner voice. For some, more intense spiritual practices like Vipassana (silence retreats), darkness retreats, or even plant medicine journeys can offer profound insights.
Turning up the volume
- Daily Mindfulness: Set aside 10 minutes each morning to sit quietly and breathe. Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. “Who do you truly want to be?”
- Setting Intentions: Instead of creating a to-do list, focus on your intentions for the day. “What do you truly want to achieve?”
- Journaling: Write about your thoughts and feelings, especially when you're facing challenges.
“Who have you been today?”, “What are three things, to make your day feel succcessful?"
3. Show Who You Are with Love
As you grow, it’s natural to want to share your progress with those who have shaped you. But instead of falling into the old habit of trying to prove yourself—like you might have felt the need to when you were younger—focus on showing up authentically. Chris shared a powerful example from his recent plant medicine journey. For the first time, he felt deeply connected to his essence—for him, a state of purity, healing, and belonging. When he reunited with his mother after years of distance, they shared an intense hug that seemed to dissolve old walls of resentment. In that moment, he stepped further into his power as a man. With his "cup full," he found he could give more freely, without conditions.
Next time you have an important conversation, try this: before you speak, center yourself and reflect on your intention. Are you coming from love and connection or from a need to impress? When you share honestly and with love, others are more likely to respond with understanding and respect.
Taking Action Today
Finding guidance isn’t about waiting for the perfect answer—it’s about taking small, intentional steps daily. Here are three quick actions to start today:
- Pause and Reflect: Take five minutes to breathe deeply or write down your thoughts. What do you feel drawn to do next?
- Ask for Input: Choose one area, task or thought, where you can invite someone else’s perspective. Collaboration often brings clarity.
- Lead with Love: Approach your next interaction with kindness and authenticity. (-Take a step back, take a deep breath, set the intention, let the sensations or feelings of kindness spread through your body - and go) Notice how it shifts the dynamic.
Guidance comes from within and from those around you. When you approach life with the many lenses of love, you’ll slowly find the courage to lead, the humility to receive, and the wisdom to navigate the journey ahead.
Tamara <3
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