Why Male Friendships Are Important For A Man's Mental Health

Friendship Can Help Save A Man's Life - Ruan's Story

A group of people are sitting on a wall overlooking the ocean.

Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s a slow unraveling, a deep exhaustion that makes even basic tasks feel impossible. This week’s guest, Ruan—a dear friend of Hearts Wide Open podcast host Dennis—knows this firsthand. Ruan experienced burnout so severe that he couldn’t even finish a sentence. His brain was fried, his body wrecked, and the worst part? He felt completely alone.

But he wasn’t. His friends saw what he couldn’t see. They took him to a small village, away from all the noise and expectations. They didn’t ask him to explain or to try harder—they just let him be. They carried him when he couldn’t carry himself, and in that space, he started to heal.

That’s the power of friendship. And yet, 1 in 5 men doesn’t have a single close friend. Our mission is to help change that.

You can listen to Ruan's story on episode #41 of our Men's Health Podcast (now available on every podcasting platform).

Why Male Friendships Are Essential for Mental Health

We teach our men to be independent, to “man up” and handle things on our own from a young age. But here’s the reality: strength isn’t isolation. On the podcast Ruan shares that strength is knowing when you need support. If home wasn’t a safe space growing up, building a strong support system as an adult is even more important.

Friendship isn’t just a luxury; it’s a necessity. Studies show that men with strong social connections have lower stress levels, better heart health, and even live longer.

But friendships don’t just happen—you have to actively create space for them, invest in them, and be present when they do happen.

A woman is laying on a bed taking a picture with her phone.

Step 1: Recognize That You Need Support

Before anything else, we have to acknowledge that friendship isn’t optional. It’s part of a well-balanced, healthy life. If you’ve been going through life solo, start small—reach out to an old friend, join a group, or even just make an effort to check in with someone you trust.

Step 2: Choose The Right People

Many men settle in friendships the same way some settle in relationships—out of convenience rather than compatibility. But real friendships aren’t just about who happens to be around; they’re about who truly gets you.

Don’t “friendship down.” Find people who match your values and energy, people who challenge and inspire you. And don’t be afraid of rejection—building meaningful friendships requires risk. A clean rejection is better than vague uncertainty. If you have to leave parts of yourself behind just to fit in, that’s a red flag. Real friends accept you as you are.

Step 3: Get Involved

You don’t build a solid friendship circle by waiting for people to find you. Show up. Join a group, play a sport, start a hobby. Real friendships aren’t built on small talk; they’re built on shared experiences where you truly see each other’s essence.

And when life gets hard, lean on your people. There’s nothing weak about needing support. Ruan's friends carried him through his worst burnout. That’s what real friendship looks like—it’s not about constant effort or control, but about genuine, unconditional presence.

Step 4: Prioritizing Social Life

We often treat friendships as secondary to work, relationships, and personal goals. But in cultures where social life is a priority—think Brazil (where Ruan is from), where people spend hours together at the beach or around a barbecue—mental health is stronger. Compare that to many parts of Europe, where people keep to themselves, overly focused on their own lives. Connection takes some effort and committment, but it’s worth it.

How Healthy Men Thrive In Community

A healthy man doesn't have to be the center of everything—he’s part of something bigger. He’s part of a community, a world, and a network of relationships that enrich his life. When things get tough, he doesn’t have to go at it alone—he reaches out, because he knows real strength is in connection.

Friendships don’t need to be daily to be deep. Maybe you only see certain friends once a year, but when you do, it’s pure, honest, and real. That’s the seed you planted. That’s the kind of friendship worth keeping.

And if you’re struggling, don’t wait until you’re at rock bottom to reach out. Whether it’s a friend or a therapist, talk to someone. Because isolation isn’t just lonely—it can be dangerous. 💔

A group of people are sitting on top of a mountain at sunset.

Invest in Your Friendships

If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: Friendships don’t just happen—they’re built. Take the first step today. Call a friend, make plans, and invest in the people who make your life richer. It might not only save your life, but make you feel more alive too.

How do you maintain your friendships? Share your thoughts in the comments or send this to a friend who needs to hear it!

Tamara <3

References

American Medical Association & American Medical Association. (2023, 14. Juli). What doctors wish patients knew about loneliness and health.

NeuroLaunch.com. (2024, 15. September). Male Psychology: Exploring the Complexities of the Male Mind

Scalstage & Scalstage. (2022, 7. April). Men’s Social Circles are Shrinking - The Survey Center on American Life. The Survey Center on American Life - A nonprofit organization dedicated to understanding the way cultural, political, and technological changes are shaping the lives of ordinary Americans.

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